4 Secrets to be a great listener

We've all had tough times and happy times and we've all wanted to talk about these to someone who can actually listen to our thoughts. But what happens when we either get interrupted while we're talking or simply don't get the reaction from the listener as we speak? Hurts, right? Now think about someone else counting on you as a good listener. Won't you want that too? If you wish for someone to be a good listener, you must also learn to be a great listener yourself. We got a few secrets that therapists use to their advantage and we'd like to share the same.

01/ Reflect on what you hear

When someone is talking to you, the first and most important thing that works wonders is to respond to them by repeating back what they say. Repetition of their exact words will make them learn that you are engaged in active listening. But this also doesn't mean you go on to repeat every sentence like a parrot. You just need to demonstrate that you are listening and that you care to understand what they are saying.

02/ Ask questions

If someone is talking to you about their issues, they might want to vent it out to you. They probably might want you to hear them out instead of you providing them with solutions or advice. Not every time someone talks about their problems to you, do they want some advice from you. So don't go on providing answers, ask questions instead. Ask how that particular situation is making them feel or how do they want to confront someone else about something that's bothering them. Simple questions will make them think of solutions themselves instead of you using your problem-solving skills on them when they didn't ask for any.

03/ Validate their feelings even when there's no logic

You might want to be a great listener and talk the person out when someone this bothering them. But you must validate their feelings and tell them that what they feel is legitimate instead of saying they are crazy if they feel that way. Sometimes, you need to understand that not all feelings and emotions will make sense to you because you are not the one who is feeling those emotions. So even when it isn't logical to you, it might be for the other person and it will mean the world to them when you validate their feelings.

04/ Stop yourself from giving unnecessary advice

This is one thing that every great listener must practice. If the talker hasn't asked for your advice, don't give any. It's as simple. They are talking to you, venting it out, sharing their experiences with you because they think they can confide in you. Not because they want advice from you all the time. You might be great at giving advice and even might have professional knowledge on what's right and what's wrong, but do not give advice when they aren't welcomed.