How to tell you partner about your past love life

You tend to date many people until you can settle down with 'the one'. If you're lucky enough, your first partner can also be the one you settle down with. But in most cases, you might have to deal with a few relationships before you can take the big step with a person for a lifetime. And when you find a person you would want to spend the rest of your life with, you must disclose your past love life to them. However, some refrain from sharing their past with their present partner, but it's quite unfair.

What if your partner comes to know about your part from someone else but you? Don't you think that's hurtful and even more damaging? Of course, sharing your past love life will be uncomfortable for you, but it is only fair to be transparent and truthful to your partner. 

Starting your romantic journey on a clean slate will only ensure a healthy and trustworthy relationship. If you're someone who is struggling to disclose your past love life to your partner, we've got a little help.

01/ Draw the line

While there might be a lot that you would want to talk about from your past to your present partner, it is very important to know how much details should you share. 

It is better if you don't share intimate details of your past relationships or make any kind of comparisons. Also, don't try to bring up any information about your past relationship when you are angry or to cause hurt.

02/ Choose the right time

Just like you wait it out till the right time to express all the good things, you need to do the same with revealing your past love life.

The person you are with will want to know you and everything about you.

 But that doesn't mean you blabber out everything at once in a flow. Give it time, form a connection, bond well and then see if your partner is interested in knowing about your past love life without any judgments.

03/ Effects of disclosure of your past

Now, every person has some kind of conservative thinking towards some or the other thing that you might not know about. Even if you think your partner is an open-minded person, you still might not know about things that he or she has a conservative perception.

Knowing about your past may matter or affect your partner to an extent that it might start showing on your relationship.

Some partners get judgemental about you after you disclose your past relationships or give out details of your dating life.

Your partner can also misuse this piece of information as a weapon to put you down when and if in an argument.

Also, some might intend to keep no secrets with their partner, but by doing so, they might end up achieving an opposite impact by disclosing about their past.

04/ Bring about a sense of security

Once you have made some revelations about your part love life to your present partner, it is very important to assure them that you are a changed person and that you have learned from your past mistakes.

Don't go on to ask if they are insecure or doubtful after everything they heard about you and how you were in your past relationships.

But, try to show love, affection and truthfulness when you talk about your past and your learnings because that's all that should matter.

Your choice of positive words on how you want your present relationship to grow will do away with any kind of doubts that might be in your partner's mind.

from LifeStyle