Struggling to end an extramarital affair?

Struggling to end an extramarital affair?

Sometimes people develop feelings towards a third person even after being married and loyal to a spouse. And most of the times these emotions can be very difficult to manage or justify, which might ultimately lead to an extramarital affair unintentionally or intentionally. Such an act of infidelity can bring short-term happiness but at the same time it will make the involved people pay a hefty price that they might cost them happiness and in some cases, their marriage as well. And once a person realises his or her mistake, it might not be easy to end an extramarital relationship. In case, you are going through the same situation or know someone facing the same, here’s a little help to mend the ways and come out clean, if not unharmed.

Find the cause of the affair
In most cases, extramarital affairs are symptomatic of a problem in the marriage. It is hence important to uncover the underlying problems in the marriage that might have prompted the spouse to engage in an extramarital affair.
Should you tell your spouse about your affair?
Now, this is the most difficult stage in overcoming an extramarital affair—should you tell your spouse about it? According to many, it’s best to let the husband or wife know about it but then you also need to consider if it will further aggravate the problems in your marriage? Also, you need to consider whether it’s the right time to tell your partner about it and only after careful evaluation of the situation and time, you should confess to your spouse about your misadventure.

Restricting all interactions
Once you make up your mind about ending an extramarital affair, you should restrict all interactions with your lover after letting him or her know about your decision. We can understand it might be the most difficult thing to do but that’s the kind of start that will push you to severe all ties.
Both the offending and non-offending spouses must accept their responsibility
This one big step would make it easy for everyone to put their past behind—both the offending and non-offending spouse should accept their responsibilities. The offending party should be genuinely sorry and apologetic about his act. At the same time, the non-offending spouse should also accept the problems, if any, in their marriage and make mutual efforts to make their relationship work.

The victimized partner should not pursue the lover
The main purpose of ending an extramarital affair is to put the past behind. In many cases, the victimized spouse is seen pursuing the partner’s lover and confronting him or her. Doing such completely defeats the purpose of trying to sever all ties with the third person. Both the parties should try to keep every disturbing thing, including the lover, away from their present and future.

The spouses should work on communication skills, building trust
When one spouse goes astray, it’s obvious that the other spouse would have trust issues and it will reflect on their communication. There might be frequent fights and disagreements and it’s not surprising to find couples giving each other silent treatment after discovering such breach of trust. But this is not the time to withhold from healthy communication. Both spouses should work on building trust and improving their communication skills.
Ending an extramarital affair is not an easy task. But once you make up your mind, do not hesitate to act upon it and if required take guidance from marriage counsellors or experts.

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