Dear Care and Feeding,
A couple of weeks ago our 18-year-old son had a newer friend, “Ben,” over for the weekend. We had already begun to suspect there might be more than friendship to this relationship, and unbeknownst to our son, my husband caught the boys fooling around in the hot tub one night during Ben’s visit. We haven’t spoken to our son about this because we do not want to make him uncomfortable about his sexuality. How can we let him know that we support him, love him, and accept him no matter what (and that we like Ben and know that he and Ben are more than friends)?
Parents Left in the Dark
Dear PLitD,
I will tell you that the hardest thing for me about my daughter growing up was not knowing things. How could this child, with whom I’d been so close, who had always felt so comfortable telling me what was going on in her life and what was on her mind, not feel the need to tell me everything anymore?
At 18, your son is in charge of determining when and how much he wants to share with you about his life (yes, even if he is still living with you). I can’t tell you why he hasn’t told you yet that he’s gay. It’s possible that he’s anxious you will be less than fully supportive (only you and your husband know if you’ve raised him in such a way that he would feel certain of your reaction to this disclosure). I will admit that the words “suspect” and “caught” gave me pause, but I may be reading too much into your choice of words (a writer’s occupational hazard). Your son may be very certain that you will support him and hasn’t come out to you yet because he is enjoying the idea that you no longer know everything about him—that is, he may simply be embracing the pleasures of early adulthood.
Dear Care and Feeding: My 18-Year Old Son Has a Secret Boyfriend. How Can I Show My Support?
Reviewed by streakoggi
on
October 27, 2019
Rating:
Reviewed by streakoggi
on
October 27, 2019
Rating:
